Not content to leave just one example of awful music videos, here is the queen of bad:
Florence Foster Jenkins performing Queen of the Night (from Mozart's the Magic Flute). Self-promotion/delusion coupled with an inheritance = FFJ. Inimitable indeed. As a baby and young child my parents owned, "The Glory Of The Human Voice" on vinyl... that, whippersnappers, was when we used to listen to (rather than scratching-up) our records. At any rate, growing up on the rocky outcroppings of Mount Stremp, selling religious icons to pilgrims by day, being lulled to sleep by the dulcet tones of FFJ by nigh... wait a minute- it's all starting to make sense now... no wonder the Eigo family is so... interesting...
For a more modern flair, this strain of, 'Self-invented Performer' can be seen lots today (due to the democratization of technology allowing anyone with access to reach a mass audience in ways inconceivable only decades ago- there is no way that this blog would exist if it were in print, or any other media... just too expensive; here though, we inconvenience some electrons and bingo) sometimes, this produces greatness and exposes us to heretofore unknown talents (like Tay Zonday... don't hate). Then again, there's this:
Jan Terri. To be fair, she... um... videos...? Long time ago? [cricket] alrighty then-
Jan Terri on Youtube. If I may suggest- Losing You as an hors d' oeuvre, perhaps a lovely Rock and Roll Santa for the entree, and for dessert, you probably want to sample the Journey to Mars.
So, are these cautionary tales of aspiring performers whose reach simply exceeds their grasp, or something more? What does it say about us? Is schedenfreude the only reason to find performers of this caliber intriguing? That dear readers must be left to you to decide...
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Badness on the Web - #4
This happens to be really, really bad. Like awful. Like, I want my money back... and I watched it for free... just bad.
Anyway, without further ado, please join me in witnessing the horror that is:
Thanks To Our Friends by Blind Sensation. Now, if the waves of, "mmm, what's that taste? Could that be the worst song from a German band since the Scorpions stopped 'Rocking Me Like a Hurricane?" are done sweeping over you like a tsunami, let's add to it the band name*. Is it cool to make fun of the disabled? No? Yeah, but what if they're German? No, not just German, but Bavarian? Oh, okay, sure, why didn't ya say so?!
The shame (or, if you wanna join the Eigo family picnic in jigoku, irony) of this video is that it is visually very attractive. The story is a bit muddled (and I gave-up because of the music), but the shots are composed well and it is interesting to look at... it might be worth a try w/no sound on... but not now. Note to self- enough making fun of former Axis powers... Achtung baby.
*According to the note on the linked page, 3 of the four band members are visually impaired. What the note doesn't say is that the singer must have developed a rare but deadly allergy to harmony, pitch and timbre. I can't sing a lick but can hear bad, and cousin bidness is a boomin' with this.
Anyway, without further ado, please join me in witnessing the horror that is:
Thanks To Our Friends by Blind Sensation. Now, if the waves of, "mmm, what's that taste? Could that be the worst song from a German band since the Scorpions stopped 'Rocking Me Like a Hurricane?" are done sweeping over you like a tsunami, let's add to it the band name*. Is it cool to make fun of the disabled? No? Yeah, but what if they're German? No, not just German, but Bavarian? Oh, okay, sure, why didn't ya say so?!
The shame (or, if you wanna join the Eigo family picnic in jigoku, irony) of this video is that it is visually very attractive. The story is a bit muddled (and I gave-up because of the music), but the shots are composed well and it is interesting to look at... it might be worth a try w/no sound on... but not now. Note to self- enough making fun of former Axis powers... Achtung baby.
*According to the note on the linked page, 3 of the four band members are visually impaired. What the note doesn't say is that the singer must have developed a rare but deadly allergy to harmony, pitch and timbre. I can't sing a lick but can hear bad, and cousin bidness is a boomin' with this.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Nihon n' on- 2
As mentioned before, the love/hate relationship with foreign culture in Japan can be summed-up by this old, but still amazing, website: Engrish. While the waters are muddied somewhat by the fact that products and photos from China (and to a lesser extent, Korea) are represented, the origins were tied very specifically to Japan.
Most of Engrish represents poor translations, misuse of loan words and a general 'devil may care' attitude- some of that is because use of non-native words make products look or sound 'cool.' Others represent a more vexing, lazy and arrogant, approach, one that implies that there is no need to have a native speaker check text before printing/manufacturing (though to be fair, that seems more a problem w/modern Chinese-made goods)...
Most of Engrish represents poor translations, misuse of loan words and a general 'devil may care' attitude- some of that is because use of non-native words make products look or sound 'cool.' Others represent a more vexing, lazy and arrogant, approach, one that implies that there is no need to have a native speaker check text before printing/manufacturing (though to be fair, that seems more a problem w/modern Chinese-made goods)...
Nihon n' on
I am a multi-interested nerd (like a polymath, only not awesome). Science, film, music and lots of other things have proven sources of research/fascination/procrastinating. One of the longest-standing areas of interest has been Japanese culture.
It is amazing to me that after centuries of feudalism (guaranteed by a series of policies handed-down from the Tokugawa Junta that restricted exposure to 'foreign' ideas and goods for most of the population- this lasted for more than 200 years) this tiny island nation modernized, survived a crushing defeat (that included the only wartime nuclear deployment in human history) and still came back as a major research and financial power.
One can easily argue that the path has been fraught and is still a work in progress (as a still mostly homogeneous society, treats some international influences as desirable and exotic while individuals can experience xenophobia that is overwhelming, and the police response to crime tends to be, 'must be gaijin'), the combination, and sometimes juxtaposition, of ancient and modern, indigenous and foreign makes for interesting stuff, including some amazing films.
But what is the mandate of this blog? Ah yeah, the bad, so here is the trailer to cinematic gold. From the opening moments of mumbled English(ish) V.O. and a knock-off of the theme from 'Live and Let Die' we learn about the deadly tools of Robogeisha including 'Tengu Milk' and the most feared of all- 'Fried Shrimp.' Yup, lots and lots of material there for someone to look at Japan and wonder WT everlivin' F? Well, um... see, in a country with Lobster vending machines, we may get some sense of the various directions the society is being pulled... but whoa, Nelly there is much, much more to come...
It is amazing to me that after centuries of feudalism (guaranteed by a series of policies handed-down from the Tokugawa Junta that restricted exposure to 'foreign' ideas and goods for most of the population- this lasted for more than 200 years) this tiny island nation modernized, survived a crushing defeat (that included the only wartime nuclear deployment in human history) and still came back as a major research and financial power.
One can easily argue that the path has been fraught and is still a work in progress (as a still mostly homogeneous society, treats some international influences as desirable and exotic while individuals can experience xenophobia that is overwhelming, and the police response to crime tends to be, 'must be gaijin'), the combination, and sometimes juxtaposition, of ancient and modern, indigenous and foreign makes for interesting stuff, including some amazing films.
But what is the mandate of this blog? Ah yeah, the bad, so here is the trailer to cinematic gold. From the opening moments of mumbled English(ish) V.O. and a knock-off of the theme from 'Live and Let Die' we learn about the deadly tools of Robogeisha including 'Tengu Milk' and the most feared of all- 'Fried Shrimp.' Yup, lots and lots of material there for someone to look at Japan and wonder WT everlivin' F? Well, um... see, in a country with Lobster vending machines, we may get some sense of the various directions the society is being pulled... but whoa, Nelly there is much, much more to come...
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Watched on Fast Foward 2010- #1
Happy New Year one and all.
The holiday season brought many tidings of joy and goodness- it also offered opportunities to bear witness to awesome exercises in filmic badness. One in particular that stands out- Santa's Slay.
In case you are unfamiliar with the specific ouvre you are probably at least aware of the genre... the evil, bad and naughty version of Santa Claus; the unique spin here is that rather than simply being a mentally ill spree killer ala this guy (from the immortal, Silent Night, Deadly Night II), Santa is a demon. And by demon, of course we mean son of Satan, tricked into doing good for the children of Earth for 1000 years... and guess what?? (Shock, horror?!) the night the movie is set, Santa's 'contract' is up, which frees him to get back to killing (in gory ways whenever possible, though to his credit, he is sensitive enough to victims' religious beliefs to use celebratory/ritual objects in their murders, so if you started this movie wondering what Saul Rubinek's character, Mr. Green, would look like impaled on a menorah, the filmmakers were considerate enough to just go ahead and show us, aw, thanks Santy!).
It is hard to imagine quite how this was envisioned- as a star vehicle for a former WWE personality (Goldberg), a spoof of killer Santa movies, an opportunity to see Robert Culp again (I Spy reunion show and reruns of this not withstanding), something(s) else, or a combination... the good news, it doesn't matter. The net effect is of a campy gorefest. If you dig that kinda thing, this will be for you... if not, er... well, yeah.
The holiday season brought many tidings of joy and goodness- it also offered opportunities to bear witness to awesome exercises in filmic badness. One in particular that stands out- Santa's Slay.
In case you are unfamiliar with the specific ouvre you are probably at least aware of the genre... the evil, bad and naughty version of Santa Claus; the unique spin here is that rather than simply being a mentally ill spree killer ala this guy (from the immortal, Silent Night, Deadly Night II), Santa is a demon. And by demon, of course we mean son of Satan, tricked into doing good for the children of Earth for 1000 years... and guess what?? (Shock, horror?!) the night the movie is set, Santa's 'contract' is up, which frees him to get back to killing (in gory ways whenever possible, though to his credit, he is sensitive enough to victims' religious beliefs to use celebratory/ritual objects in their murders, so if you started this movie wondering what Saul Rubinek's character, Mr. Green, would look like impaled on a menorah, the filmmakers were considerate enough to just go ahead and show us, aw, thanks Santy!).
It is hard to imagine quite how this was envisioned- as a star vehicle for a former WWE personality (Goldberg), a spoof of killer Santa movies, an opportunity to see Robert Culp again (I Spy reunion show and reruns of this not withstanding), something(s) else, or a combination... the good news, it doesn't matter. The net effect is of a campy gorefest. If you dig that kinda thing, this will be for you... if not, er... well, yeah.
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